


Angel

by ItsSupernatural1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 07:19:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2379689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsSupernatural1979/pseuds/ItsSupernatural1979
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's out of Purgatory and he knows Cas didn't make it but he can't stop thinking about him and then he starts seeing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angel

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's way past the time for post-Purgatory fics but I wrote this a long time ago and never posted it so I wanted to go ahead and put it on here. Plus, it's my first purely non-smut fic I've ever written I think so let me know how it is!

Dean sat alone in the dark motel room. It had been almost a month since he and Benny had escaped Purgatory, leaving Cas to fend for himself against the most horrible monsters Dean had ever encountered. He wondered if Cas was still alive and fighting. As horrible as Purgatory was, he'd give anything to be back there so he could protect his angel.

For about the hundredth time, Dean began to replay his last moments with Cas in Purgatory. He could still feel Cas's hand slipping out of his grip; he could see the look on his fading face as Dean was forced through the portal back into life while Cas screamed for him.

Tears began silently streaking Dean's face. "Cas, you stupid son of a bitch. Why couldn't you have just held on a little bit tighter?" Dean whispered into the darkness. He laid back on the bed thinking of the things he should've done differently until he fell asleep.

When he woke up, he saw Sam sitting on the bed beside his. Sam had met some chick at a bar the night before and had gone home with her. Him being back this early meant it must not have gone very well but Sam didn't say anything about it and Dean didn't really want to hear about it anyway.

He got out of the bed and went into the bathroom to wash his face and change his clothes. When he came out of the bathroom, Sam was busy packing their stuff.

"Are we going somewhere?" Dean asked him.

"Well, I figured we'd grab something to eat and then head out," replied Sam. "I think I found a case in Oklahoma."

"Alright. Let's get going, then."

They stopped for breakfast at a small diner right outside of town then drove to Oklahoma. It was about a six hour drive from where they started. Dean drove while Sam slept off his long night in the passenger seat.

When they were in Tulsa, Dean began looking for a motel. It didn't take long to find one. He pulled in and woke Sam up and they went to check in. Once they were settled, Sam went out to talk to some of the locals about what had been going on. Dean stayed in the room by himself.

About half an hour after Sam left, Dean heard a noise outside the window of the room. He crossed the room and quickly threw back the curtains to see Cas's face staring back at him. He gasped and instinctively rubbed his eyes. When he looked back, the face was gone.

He went to sit on the bed to catch his breath as he sobbed. Finally, he heard the rumble of the Impala and he knew Sam was back. He wiped away his tears as best he could but he knew Sam could tell he'd been crying by the look on his face but Sam didn't say anything, not anymore. He knew Dean wouldn't talk about it so he'd stopped asking a few days after Dean had gotten out of Purgatory.

"I, uh, brought food," said Sam as he put a greasy bag on the table. "I got you a cheese burger with extra bacon and fries. Good?"

"Yeah, that's great," said Dean. "Thanks, Sammy."

"Yeah. No problem, man," replied Sam. "So...turns out those weird disappearances in town isn't actually our kinda thing. Just some psycho human."

"Well, at least we get a day off," said Dean.

"Yeah. 'Bout time," said Sam. "Well, I'm gonna go outside and get some ice. I'll be right back."

"Alright."

Sam gave his big brother another quick worried glance before turning toward the door that led outside. He crossed the small room and put his hand on the doorknob. He turned it and opened the door then stopped dead in his tracks.

Standing right in front of him, plain as day, was an extremely dirty, disheveled Castiel, still wearing the same suit, tie, and trench coat as always.

"Cas?" Sam gasped in surprise.

Dean, who had been lost in thought, jumped up immediately when he heard the name leave Sam's mouth. He hurried to get to the door to see what Sam was seeing. Sure enough, he saw the angel--his angel--standing in the dark doorway of the small motel room. Dean pushed past Sam to get to Cas, so he could touch him.

"Cas, is that really you?" Dean asked, on the verge of tears.

"Hello, Dean," said Cas with the same warm smile Dean had missed so much. "Yes, it's really me. I'm really here."

Dean knew it wasn't possible for Cas to be there. He knew it had to be shifter or something but he didn't care. He lunged forward and threw his arms around Cas and hugged him for what seemed like eternity but when he let go, it was still too soon.

While Dean had been squeezing Cas, Sam had gone to his duffel to get a flask of holy water and a silver knife. "Dean, move back for a minute," said Sam as he grabbed Dean's arm.

"No, Sam! It's Cas! It...it has to be!" yelled Dean.

"I know, Dean," said Sam, pulling harder on his arm. "I just have to make sure."

"Dean, it's okay," said Cas. "Sam's right. You should always do the tests just to be safe. It won't hurt anything."

Dean looked at Cas one last time before silently stepping away to allow Sam to get closer to the angel. He quickly shook the flask onto Cas and there was no reaction. "Not possessed, then," noted Sam. He proceeded to take Cas's arm and push his sleeve back. "Ready?" he asked.

"It won't hurt me, Sam," said Cas matter-of-factly. Sam quickly sliced the silver knife into Cas's forearm. Again, nothing. He looked at Cas's face for a few seconds before hugging him tightly and saying, "Welcome back, man! But..." he said, pulling away. "...How did you get out? Dean said you were trapped there."

"I have no clue," said Cas worriedly. "One minute I was fighting off a gang of leviathan and the next minute, I was in the street in some town in North Dakota."

"Wait. If you were in North Dakota, how did you find us here?" asked Sam.

"I don't know...I just...felt like I should come here," said Cas, looking at Dean.

Dean could feel Sam's eyes on him as he stared back at Cas but he didn't care. His angel had come back to him.

Sam loudly cleared his throat, causing Cas to turn to look at him. "So, Cas, I'm really glad you're back, but you could use a shower."

"Right," said Cas. "It'll only take a minute." He caught Dean's eyes one last time before entering the bathroom and closing the door. After a few seconds, Sam could hear the water running and he turned to give Dean his "This is really not good" look.

"You realize this can't be a good thing, right?" said Sam, eying Dean nervously.

"Of course I realize that, Sam, but I don't care right now! He's back. That's all that matters. We'll deal with how and why later."

"I know, Dean. I'm just saying...we have to be prepared for when things go to crap...like they always do."

"I know...I just can't think about that right now," said Dean, pleading Sam with his eyes to drop the subject. "Just let us be happy for a little while."

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a few minutes until, finally, the bathroom door swung open and a clean shaven, spotless angel came out. Even his clothes were clean and tear-free. Dean assumed he had used his angel powers to do that.

It had been months since Dean had seen Cas like this; so gorgeous and...normal-looking. It took Dean's breath away. His hair was slightly disheveled and his face looked completely smooth. His clothes looked perfectly normal and Dean's heart twinged. He couldn't believe Cas was actually here. It didn't make sense that something good would actually happen in Dean's life.

"Well, I'm just gonna go get a drink and, uh, maybe find a girl," said Sam standing up. "I'll be back in the morning. I'm really glad you're back, Cas." Sam left the room and Dean knew it was to give him some alone time with Cas.

As soon as the door had closed behind Sam, Dean crossed the room to grab Cas and pull him into a tight embrace. "I missed you so much! The past month has been hell without you. I never stopped hoping you'd come back to me."

"I know, Dean," said Cas, holding Dean as tightly as Dean was holding him. "I've missed you, too. And I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? It wasn't your fault. I should've held on tighter. I shouldn't have let you go," said Dean, on the verge tears again.

"Dean, I pulled away," said Cas softly.

"What?"

"You remember what I want you to remember. The truth is, I pulled away from you because...I deserved to be there. I should still be there," said Cas sadly.

"What do you mean you should still be there?" asked Dean angrily. "You deserve to be here with!"

"Dean, I'm the one who opened Purgatory in the first place. I released the leviathan. I killed people! I devastated Heaven. I was bad, Dean. I should've been punished for eternity. There's nothing I can ever do to redeem myself."

"Cas...don't say that. You killed Dick Roman! You went to Purgatory because you saved me and everyone else! You were there too long. Don't ever say you didn't deserve to get out. You didn't deserve to be there in the first place." Tears were already rolling freely down Dean's face.

"When I realized what I had done, all the destruction I'd caused...I didn't even want to live," said Cas hesitantly. "I thought I should just...end my life for the sake of others."

Dean felt his heart stop in his chest. Cas wanted to kill himself. He couldn't imagine a world without this beautiful being in it. It didn't seem possible that a world like that could even exist.

"Castiel," said Dean firmly, "don't you ever think anything like that again! I couldn't live without you. Knowing you were in Purgatory by yourself nearly killed me. I don't ever wanna hear you say anything like that again." Dean's voice broke on the last word.

Cas knew he'd truly upset Dean. He couldn't stand seeing Dean this way. He went to sit on the bed beside where Dean had all but collapsed a few moments ago. He put his arm around Dean's shoulder.

"Cas, I just...I can't hear you say things like that," whimpered Dean. "I love you."

The angel looked at Dean, finding his eyes. "Dean Winchester, you know I'd go to the ends of the Earth for you. Anything to keep you safe and happy. I love you so much."

Dean leaned over to kiss the angel passionately. He fisted his hands in Cas's hair. Cas could taste Dean's tears as he continued to sob. 

When they were both out of breath, Dean pulled away only to draw Cas closer in a warm embrace. Finally, he whispered, "Cas, I really need to sleep...but please don't leave me again."

"I wouldn't even dream of it," said Cas.

Dean laid down his head on the pillow, and Cas laid next to him. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's waist and Cas held him tightly as he nuzzled his face into the crook of Cas's neck. Cas kissed Dean's forehead gently and watched over Dean as he fell into the first peaceful sleep he'd had in months.

Dean's angel had finally come home. He no longer had to wish he was in Purgatory to protect Cas; now he had something better. Cas was back in real life again and he had found Dean. Everything was...well, as close to perfect as things could be for a Winchester. Dean was happy.

The next day, Sam got back a little after 10 AM. When he walked into the motel room, the first thing he saw was Dean and Cas tangled up together on the bed. Cas, of course, was awake and he was cradling Dean, watching him sleep and tenderly brushing Dean's hair with his hand. 

Dean was laying on his side, clutching Cas with one leg thrown over the angel. Sam felt like he should leave again, like was intruding on something very intimate.

He decided to occupy his time--and his eyes--with some research...any research. As he walked across the room, Cas's eyes glanced up from Dean, only for a moment, to look at Sam and quietly tell him to "Shh" but Sam didn't need to be told. This was the best Dean had slept in months, maybe even years. Sam wouldn't wake him up for anything.

Sam knew Dean loved Cas, truly loved him. He loved Cas more than any of the dozens of girls Dean had had throughout the years. Sam also knew that Cas loved Dean just as much, if not more. Dean had never really talked to Sam about it but it was understood that Dean and Cas were...right. They made sense together. Cas was the only man, to Sam's knowledge, who Dean had ever had these kinds of feelings for. It didn't seem to matter to Dean that Cas was in the shape of a man--and if it didn't matter to Dean, it didn't matter to Sam.


End file.
